Pushing 40

I just had my 39th birthday. My two very best friends didn't call. Didn't email me, send a card, text, facebook me, nothing. That really hurt my feelings. I'm pushing 40 and realize I don't have any true friends. Ok, maybe they forgot, you say. Hello. Have you been on facebook? It tells you when your friend's birthday is. They are both in the dog house and possibly up for adoption in my book. I'm tired of maintaining relationships. I'm always the one who calls and who writes emails and is checking in on them to see how things are going. I guess they figure since I don't work and I'm disabled (I have chronic migraines-get them everyday) I should be the one who does all the work in a relationship.
I've decided to make changes. I'm not doing it anymore. Just like the chubby kid who is tired of being made fun of and decides to go out and start eating right and getting exercise, I'm slimming down my list of friends and chunking the straphangers. Obviously if I don't mean enough to you that you never call or check up on me, then you aren't a real friend anyway.
   I'm also going to finally go back to school and get my degree. Boy, when I decide to get off my duff, I get moving in a big way. I haven't been to school in 20 years and all of a sudden I'm wonder woman. Maybe my panties are on too tight or something, but I think these changes are only going to be good for me. I'm tired of sitting on the computer at the house all day long, playing games and waiting for my husband to get home at night just to have someone to talk to. (I live out in the country so I'm isolated.) If you were a fly on the wall in my house, you would think there is another person here. I talk to my dog like she is a human. I think I do it so I don't go crazy. Which is part of the reason for starting this blog. I need an outlet. I don't care if nobody reads this thing, at least its like a Dear Diary...but in a more vocal sense.
   The sad thing for me is I used to be so active. I miss my old life. I used to travel a lot. I would hop in the car and just drive. I love traveling! My dream job was to travel and to write. I found the perfect job for me and then I couldn't do it anymore. I have moped over that loss long enough. Time to put my big girl panties on and move on.
  That's all I've got to say for now....toodles!